Indian actor Taapsee Pannu discussed the emotional cost of playing intense, grief-heavy characters, revealing that the process she relied on to access pain on screen was far from a healthy one.

Speaking to Variety India about her role as Bani in Gandhari, Taapsee admitted that she often convinced herself her character’s tragedies had actually happened to her in real life, in order to play the roles most authentically. “I don’t have a very healthy method. Unfortunately, it’s the only method I know,” she said, adding that she had followed the same approach across every film which ultimately left her emotionally drained.

Taapsee, who admitted she had never had formal acting training, also revealed that she did not know specific “switches” to access an emotion on cue. Instead, she mentally placed herself inside her character’s circumstances, often imagining the loss of someone close to her. “I psych myself out into believing that whatever is happening to my character has happened to me. I have used this method, and it has worked for me on screen. On a personal level, it has left me with scars. Said scars cannot heal entirely,” the actor shared.

Asked whether she had sought therapy to move on from playing Bani, Taapsee revealed that professional help had been part of her process since Pink, and that she had since found healthier ways to manage the emotional aftermath of intense roles. “I did seek help in the beginning, to understand how to get out of this. Now I know. I have developed hacks to unwind mentally,” she said.

The actor added that while such roles had changed her at some level, it was something she had learnt to live with. “I cannot heal 100%. But it is something that I can live with. It is not damaging. I have started the unlearning process bit by bit while seeking help and understanding myself,” Taapsee shared.

This wasn’t the first time the actor spoke publicly about personal struggles. Earlier this year, she reflected on her past obsession with achieving a flat stomach, revealing that she once pushed her body “beyond its limits” while chasing an idealised image.

Between her comments on therapy and body image, Taapsee has positioned herself as one of Bollywood’s more candid voices on the private costs of public-facing work.